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BREAKING:
Miraculously, I was able to get my hands on Mr. Soetoro's typed notes for his "Iraq" speech tonight. This is strictly exclusive and no other news outlets have obtained this. Enjoy!
Theme:
Act like you care
Attitude:
Boring and tired (possibly stay up all night to come across as overworked)
Talking points:
I love our soldiers. Yawn. Iraq. Thank George for throwing money at the war. Are people still watching? Jobs. Jobs. Economy. Blame George W. Bush for the economy. Jobs. Jobs. Economy. Latest golf score. Yawn. Should I say something about Muslims (too soon?).
Reflection:
Did I mention Iraq at least once?
Did I throw Bush under the bus?
Did I mention I singlehandedly won the war?
Do they know I have the Nobel Peace Prize under this suit?
Should I tell them I plan to run this country into the ground? (next speech?)
Has Minute to Win It come back on yet?