Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Summarizing Obama's Iraq Address
Miraculously, I was able to get my hands on Mr. Soetoro's typed notes for his "Iraq" speech tonight. This is strictly exclusive and no other news outlets have obtained this. Enjoy!
Act like you care
Boring and tired (possibly stay up all night to come across as overworked)
I love our soldiers. Yawn. Iraq. Thank George for throwing money at the war. Are people still watching? Jobs. Jobs. Economy. Blame George W. Bush for the economy. Jobs. Jobs. Economy. Latest golf score. Yawn. Should I say something about Muslims (too soon?).
Did I mention Iraq at least once?
Did I throw Bush under the bus?
Did I mention I singlehandedly won the war?
Do they know I have the Nobel Peace Prize under this suit?
Should I tell them I plan to run this country into the ground? (next speech?)
Has Minute to Win It come back on yet?
"If an American is to amount to anything he must rely upon himself, and not upon the State; he must take pride in his own work, instead of sitting idle to envy the luck of others. He must face life with resolute courage, win victory if he can, and accept defeat if he must, without seeking to place on his fellow man a responsibility which is not theirs." - Theodore Roosevelt